Non-consent sex fantasy.
What I am talking about here is the kind of fantasy which involves someone you find sexually attractive. And in this mental role-play, you imagine that they've suddenly chosen to hold you against your will, tearing off your clothes, touching you in those forbidden places, tying you up and/or making aggressive moves on you when you least expect it... in some spur-of-the-moment random location like a back office room, a rooftop or some elevator somewhere... And there, with their mouths, their hands and their bodies, they do all the things to you that you've secretly wanted them to.
In this fantasy, nothing about any of it is at all unpleasant or painful... and yet your voice begging them to stop is almost as an elixer to further excite you... finding yourself finally giving in to whatever pleasure they are giving you as you feel yourself beginning to climax... The whole scene kinky as it is, turns me on although... should that scenario ever happen in real life it would *undoubtedly* be my biggest nightmare!!!! Cause when all is said and done - NO ONE wants to be raped in real life... and straight to the point: sex without consent - well, that's rape.
So what is it about that type of mental fantasy that is so addicting?! Why even go there..and how did it become such an appealing mental medium for 'getting my rocks off'?? One would think that loving, affectionate and romantic sex would be far more appealing... so what is it about that mental playground that I crave so much? Am I just too fucked up to be so affected by such thoughts? I'm curious how many other women would agree or admit that they too find the whole thought-confined scenario a big turn-on.
I heard someone say once that the things/scenarios we find within our fetishes (aka. spanking, being controlled, the emotional and mental rollercoaster of constant fighting and making up afterward) are often found in the abuse of past relationships and/or in childhood.
I've always been curious if people actually have a Stockholm-esc emotional/mental attachment to the specific types of physical, sexual, mental or emotional abuse they endure, either in their childhood or in a past abusive relationship... Is it possible that it is actually those attaching characteristics which repeatedly draw abuse victims or persons from unhealthy past relationships into the same exact type of damaging relationships - again and again throughout their lifetime? And if so, is there a way to 're-program' ourselves and eventually find those genuinely healthy relationships that deep deep... deep down, we truly crave?
I can't help but wonder.
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