Still Sexy After All These Years...

I've been off the dating scene for nearly 8 years now though certainly not dormant...I still get easily sprung on the smooth sounds of Leon Bridges, Miles Davis and Jodeci.

 What can I say? I'm a single mama with blues in her heart and soul on her lips.   I've got a 7 year old baby girl. Gotta train her right cause she knows what's up. She tells me "Mama, you need to get you somebody." " I need a dad and a sister... let's get on that."   "You got it sweet pea." I nod my chin upward in agreement.

I never signed up to do this alone but then again, I never signed up not to either. I'm 44 for fuck sake. How did I end up here? No great love, no best friend walking through life beside me.  Always thought I had so much to offer but somehow it has eluded me and remains locked up pretty tight. So tight in fact, I'm not even sure I know how to let it out anymore.

The euphoria of sex, drugs and rock & roll, man do I miss that but life's not about me anymore...it's about my little girl. No looking back to what might have been and more than that, absolutely no regrets.

It's been over 8 years since I've gotten laid. My damn hormones are giving me what for and I'll be honest with you, it fucking sucks balls...and not in a good way. There's only so much you can do with a a vibrator or shower head attachment. Make no mistake, I'll see myself off however I have to but anyone who's been there knows, going solo is not the same high.

"Once you go black, you never go back."  I'd say that's pretty much the case for any female leaving the V-boat behind and embracing that long-anticipated "Ohhh" plunge on into the sea of humanity, if you catch my drift, but I think that expression could apply for any guy within that body who even remotely knows what he's doing, black or not.

Returning to sea I'm pretty resistant, at least now that I have to be hyper watchful for any potential sex fiends with strategic intent to lure naive, unsuspecting females with young kids. As the sole protector and provider, my daughter's safety is paramount and so is my responsibility to her which has become more prominent as every minute goes by.

I'm a bit toasted at the moment so no, there wont be a 'big reveal' on my dime tonight and any current plans to explore the sexy mom-jean cougar affect are now off the table.  'Plenty of Fish' you're off the hook cause I'm not going anywhere like this. No drinking and driving from me as long as I continue to care about those among us on this planet besides myself (so yeah, that'd be a "NEVER" driving drunk or even remotely 'buzzed'. Not now, not ever.)


Sticking around my apartment the rest of the night in some comfy sweats with a glass (or 3) of a rather tasty Merlot if I do say so myself, and enjoy the umpteenth showing of 'Chef' which is quickly becoming one of my favorite cinematic indulgences of late.

As for possible future life strategies, they can wait 'til tomorrow.