Not exactly what R Kelly had in mind

I tend to think that there are a large number of men who consistently date hypothetically.

What do I mean?

Well, you know how when a guy is interested in some girl he feels is way out of his league? He pursues her, turned on by the chase, eager to know if he can actually win over this 'girl of his dreams'. When she reciprocates to his great surprise, he feels suddenly that the whole situation is no longer hypothetical and he is then suddenly not up for it. He was only wanting to see if it was 'possible' and was not actually looking for a relationship right then, but merely looking to see if it could be possible in the future at a time when he then really would be ready to invest his time, money, etc...

I think I'm guilty of treating my Uterus in that same manner.

If you've read any of my previous posts, then you know that I've begun taking on the 'invincible complex'. What I mean is, there have been far too many occasions wherein I should have gotten pregnant but did not. Those instances have solidified my beliefs that I will probably never get pregnant, unless hell were to freeze over.  Well, the devil better get his parka on...

I'm pregnant.   At least I think I am... that is to say; four pregnancy tests can't all be wrong, can they??!   Now I'm officially screwed. What the fuck was I thinking?!! I was just so sure it wouldn't happen to me, despite my deepest longing to eventually birth a baby of my own flesh and blood.... Don't get me wrong here, I am beyond happy that I'm pregnant, I just don't want to be RIGHT NOW!!!! I just barely am getting back on my feet after being homeless and am completely unprepared... 

My ridiculous need to challenge and test the future on the assumed lack of my body's baby making capabilities....   NEWS FLASH: If you test the future out now, it will happen NOW.

This is definitely not what R Kelly had in mind... 

9 months of (baby) Bump... 18 years of (daily) Grind.

Ugghh...

Well, I better get dressed now and haul my denial over to Planned Parenthood for a confirmation pregnancy test.  

Wish me.... oh to hell with it, it's too late for that now!